Sarah Palin is Your Asshole McDonald’s Owner

…You know, the snarky pedicure diva with the spoiled, small-town royalty kids, the one who visits the restaurant when it’s slammed and screams at you and threatens to fire you because you’re so busy running between the till and the hot, greasy food chute that you haven’t refilled the ketchup island? That’s Sarah Palin, my friends. Get ready to make use of the downtown soup kitchen.

Sarah Palin is from a state where people’s otherwise insufficient incomes are glossed by oil royalty payoffs. Minus the payoffs, which you do not get outside Alaska, all she’s going to know about is saddling folks with insufficient incomes, something already championed to ill effect under our genteel chain of Southern Governor-Presidents.

I was sent a link to a video of Matt Damon being interviewed saying that Sarah Palin is a problem because she’s inexperienced and fundamentalist crazy and McCain is likely to die in office. First, Matt Damon is great. He’s a great actor. I love his movies. I like his politics and that he has the balls to be political and leftie-liberal. I think the Democrats need smart, macho, sexy outsiders to do the counterattacks on Below-the-belt Palin because Biden cannot (He’s the establishment-reassuring, business-as-usual elder politician. Good chess move there, Republican handlers.) and Obama cannot (His campaign’s based on restoring dignity, and probably he can’t stoop to counterattack a lowly opposing VP candidate whose only function is to be an attack bitch, a la Anne Coulter et al–is anyone detecting a strategic Republican pattern here?). Tactically, for the Democrats, YouTube should be flooded with political outsiders attacking Palin.

But looking at Matt Damon (click on entry title above for the video), I think Democrats need to get tougher on their talking points. His would be effective rhetoric, if it was meant to re-woo the top tier of the moneyed class. But YouTube?

Sure, educated people do not like the social conservatism. How many Americans are we talking about when we talk about educated people? We need to rebuild a quality public education system before we can expect many people to want leaders who respect and use science, reason and democratic ethics. We need to attack Republicans’ economics before we can get past “culture war hand grenades“, and that doesn’t mean ignoring cultural politics. It means not fighting the culture war on Republicans’ fascist terms. Yet it means giving working class Americans the shiny cultural things we all need to get through the day, like catchy songs, dances, bright lights, festivals, beer, and inflammatory stories about cultural enemies such as elite (Bush) and elitist (Ol’ Book-Bannin’-Fire-the-Serfs Palin) bastards who don’t grasp our common humanity, and attaching those cultural shows to a better economic platform.

[UPDATE: If this country were not already deep into the New Dark Ages, this is how the Dems would have responded to the Alaskan Attack Bitch’s charge that Obama supports terrorists–by which they meant he served on a charity board with Bill Ayers, a professor of education, who many, many decades ago engaged in disruptive activities such as blowing up an offensive statue celebrating the police who killed working men struggling for weekends and 8-hour-days. MAYBE THE DEMS SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED, IN EXCHANGE, HOW PROMINENT MEMBERS OF THE REPUBLICAN RULING CLASS ARE STATE TERRORISTS, MUCH MORE RECENTLY INVOLVED IN TERROR INDICTED BY US AND WORLD COURTS AS FELONS. REPUBLICAN TERRORISTS NOT YET INDICTED INCLUDE NEGROPONTE, MCCAIN, ETC. …A reminder, should the Dems be somehow unaware of this history. Come ON!]

Because at this point, the *chief* problem is that Sarah Palin is not just a fundamentalist Xian, but she’s also a born-again economic conservative.

This needs to be made clear: Economic conservatism has been ruining our lives for decades, and it’s ruining democracy, and it’s ruining America.

This needs to be made clear, what economic conservatism is: The fantastic belief that you can accomplish three goals: (1) you can grow the US economy infinitely and (2) make the rich richer, based on the consumption of increasingly expensive commodities by (3) a gigantic mass of people who have not seen income increases for over 30 years, to the point that they have been consuming with debt and suffering declining standards of living.

The logical problem in this theory should be clear, especially with the empirical feedback we have been getting.

It is this conservative economic theory which since the 70s failed to bolster declining profits, and led economic conservatives Clinton and Greenspan to hide economic decline not only by encouraging the proliferation of private debt, but also the spectacular, if illusory money flows around speculative activity–allowing very wealthy people from around the world to gamble on American commodities like technology in the 1990s and real estate in the 2000s–until the pyramid schemes collapsed and the winners made off with their unproductive appropriation of other people’s money. Because there are not enough productive investments for this accumulation of other people’s money to sink into, and because the economic winners are no longer sufficiently taxed in the US to help pay off debt, this accumulation has only gone into furthering inequality and bolstering the ever higher inflation of commodity prices.

As the speculative bubbles collapse, we are left with a miserable underlying economic reality. Elites will have more power than ever, but the US economy has been built on a garbage theory thats appeal lies in its elitism: “Screw you, Jack. I got mine”. Maybe that theory’s beautifully mathematized, maybe the Nobel committee has kissed its hairy ass, but it’s still been Garbage In, Garbage Out. Now we have economic conservatives trying to hide this conservative economics disaster with public debt, which again only comes down to a mass of people who are not making enough money paying both their oppressive private debt and the astronomical public debt.

The magic of holding the reserve currency can only protect debt-ridden working Americans temporarily, because if the economy is this bad, the dollar will not be the reserve currency for long. The dollar is slipping to the Euro, and I think the Chinese–even if they own a lot of dollars right now–they will be able to leave it high and dry in the not-too-distant future.

And yes, our military is gargantuan, but it costs a lot and we are not going to be able to steal enough resources from other countries like Iraq and Iran to cushion this. The collapse is already well under way. There isn’t enough time left to make this bad economic program work for anyone but the elitest elite.

Many people are shocked that Palin’s from the backwaters and is politically potent. But let’s be realistic: It’s not as if the conservative dogma were an arcane secret. Churning out the dogma has been an industry for decades. Any egomaniacal cracker should be able to work up a lather and spew it, especially with a professional writing team at her back. The problem with Sarah Palin is that she’s just another Republican jackass who ideologically cannot get the US economy on firmer ground. Her only ambition is to get in on the hoarding of power as the corrupted house crashes in on the rest of us.


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