More Ignoble Nobels

From The Onion:

Nobel Prize Awarded to Man Who Helped Humans Have More Fucking Babies
October 7, 2010

STOCKHOLM—The Nobel Prize in Medicine was awarded Monday to Robert Edwards, the British in vitro fertilization pioneer who made it possible for shitloads more babies to be born on top of the half million or so daily births already dangerously stressing the planet’s dwindling resources. “The long-term impact of Edwards’ work is absolutely staggering,” read a statement from the Nobel Assembly describing the technology that allows infertile couples to not only give birth but choose the gender and eye color of their child instead of, say, adopting one of the thousands of tsunami-orphaned children in need of a home. “We congratulate him on finding a way for rich limpdicks to achieve what nearly a million poor couples do by complete fucking accident every day.” Nobel officials also awarded the Prize in Chemistry to the inventor of Pepcid antacids, which allow people to eat twice as much goddamn food as anybody needs, and the Prize in Literature to Twilight author Stephenie Meyer, “because fuck it.”

Explanation for posting an Onion article on this blog:

I just had to post this here because I can’t post it on fb, as you’ve got to be nice to people on fb, and I have at least 3 friends who’ve poured money and emotion into prolonged, painful, undignified medical fertility treatments. But I feel this Onion piece. I recognize that sometimes I do not take on the affirming, constructive role of the social facilitator. And the point of this blog is partly to allow me to express my view on things without disturbing the other 7 billion people on this planet. There’s only so much room for each of our inflated egos. Although getting assaulted with all that conservative and liberal bullshit all the time does make me feel that things are out of equilibrium anyway, so, yes, “fuck it.”


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